Dear Ellie: With Christmas around the corner, my parents are tugging at me to come to their house; my in-laws are tugging for their house; my grandparents want their house; and I have three young children. We have worn out the roads in three states for more than 15 years, and it is exhausting and wearing us out as a family.  What to do? What to do???

Professional Christmas Marathoner

Dear PCM: This is an issue for every married couple and children as the family grows. You are certainly not alone in this struggle, and I have been asked this question many times this December, so I am going to answer all the ladies and gentlemen who wrote in this month about this issue.

Dear Professional Christmas Marathoner, Road Ragger at Christmas, Exhausted Mom, Santa Transportation Specialist, and Tiny Tim is Tired: As families expand, how blessed you all are that so many desire to spend time with you during the holidays. This is truly a blessing as so many families are fragmented.

May I suggest that you clearly have a meeting and thank each member for their love. Then, with agenda in hand, you say something like this: That you, your husband and the children are going to have Santa Clause in their own home, so Christmas Day is taken. If you would all like to come share the joy with us, you are welcome for Christmas breakfast. As for Christmas Eve, lets all (for example) meet at my moms for Christmas Dinner. I will make the ham, and please bring a dish of your favorite side dish and a desert.

Then take other suggestions.

Rather than saying you are exhausted and come across as ungrateful, remind the family that you are so blessed to be loved, and that you appreciate them. Then form a plan so that everyone is not on the road celebrating seven Christmases in two days.

Christmas does not have to be a day, it can be whatever you desire it to be. You can celebrate any day of the month, or not celebrate at all. Not everyone can have Christmas Day at 3 p.m.

Most important is why we are celebrating, and not the push-pull of in-law, parents, and other family members wanting what they want and when they want it, and saying "no" is hard for many people. We all have to share. Most of all, be grateful.

Ellie

If you would like to submit a letter, email to MurfreesboroVoiceAskEllie@gmail.com