Dear Miss Ellie:

I am 14 years old and have been invited to my first school dance. The dance is my school's homecoming dance here in Murfreesboro. A boy asked me and I said OK 'cause it sounded really fun to go with him. My friends think he is a nerd and said I should not go with him. My mother bought me a pretty dress and is mad at me for being rude to the boy and not wanting to go with him. What would you do?

- Newbie to Dance Thing

Dear Newbie:

Congratulations on attending your first dance. You are going to have such a great time.

Let’s talk this through step by step and see where it takes us? How does that sound?

1. You have a dance    √
2. You had a young man ask you to attend with him and said yes    √

OK – check, check, check, and check. Homecoming is always fun and a less formal adventure to attend that a big formal prom. This nice, young man invited you, and you said yes. You need to be considerate of him; it took a great deal of initiative to ask you. There was a possibility you would have said no. It is very hard to ask people out because of the risk for rejection, but you said yes, and now he is so excited to be taking you.

Your friends may be jealous because you have a date, and they do not. Don’t lean into peer pressure and follow your friends. You made a commitment, and if you are mature enough to attend your first school dance, then you need to be mature and not buckle into peer pressure.

If your friends don’t have dates, plan to meet them at the dance and become a big group, but DO NOT ignore the young man who asked you. This would make you look immature and petty. Also, it will make him feel badly, and certainly that would not be your intention; to hurt someone on purpose.

Also, it's good to remember that it's about how the boy treats you and not about what your friends think of him. If he is nice, kind and considerate, your friends should be happy for you and not calling him names.

Your mom bought you a pretty dress, and you are going to look and feel lovely. Your mom is only angry with you because you are behaving immaturely. Show her you are mature, and do not buckle to peer pressure. Go to the dance and have fun, you are 14 years old, a dance with this young man is not a marriage proposal. He is probably super nervous and excited.  Go and have the time of your young life.

Have Fun, Miss Ellie

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