How many of you, Moms and Dads both, have a personal public-relations program? While you're thinking, we'll answer for you in this way … every one of you, and so does your teenager. 

Perception is a reality

All of us have a personal public-relations program. Every time we walk out of our house, our public relations program kicks into gear. People are watching us, hearing us and forming perceptions of us by how we act and react in the world around us. 

Perception is indeed reality. If we look over at you while you're driving and you're texting, we don't know you … but we might think you're a fool (and, in our state, illegal!). You may be a wonderful, person, but all others see is someone who is risking the lives of everyone on the road. That can define you as inconsiderate and reckless.

People hear you being loud and obnoxious in a restaurant. No one else can carry on polite conversation. Sorry, you're probably labelled a jerk. We don't know you from Adam—and we don't want to know you.

Your young children holler and run wildly in the grocery store. You're probably perceived as an irresponsible parent whose children are out of control most of the time. We'll take any other aisle in the store to avoid you and your brood.

Impressions are indelible

It works both ways. T

he server in the restaurant may not know you, but he or she is forming impressions of you. Are you treating him politely? Are you helping her feel at ease with a friendly smile? Are you speaking clearly when ordering? On the other hand, is your server dressed appropriately? Does he speak in complete and intelligible sentences? Is she courteous and attentive?

The quality of this brief encounter will largely determine if you will ever eat there again. Your perception of your server becomes your attitude toward that restaurant. We form judgments like that all the time.

You are what you say … and do

Teenagers have a personal public-relations program. Yes, it does matter how your son dresses for a job interview. The way he sits in class does send a certain message. The way your daughter walks into the room does announce loudly and clearly if she is happy to be there or would rather be anywhere else.

During our university tenure, we saw a lot of papers written by college students. Without our knowing the author of every paper, it was quite natural to form an opinion about the writer simply based on his or her writing. Imagine if it were a poorly written job resume or cover letter or application for a scholarship.  

Teenagers, as well as parents, need to know that from the moment they rise and shine and head off to life, they are creating perceptions of who and what they are—perceptions that will stick. Every day is an opportunity to make a positive difference.