Hi Ellie:

How are you? Have an issue. I have this great girl in my life. She is attentive, interesting and intelligent, she only has one problem, she is a big girl. She didn’t used to be so big, but in the five years we have been dating since college, she has really packed it on. I keep telling her to lose weight, and she just says nothing, cries, or gives me the finger. I want to tell her I am packing it in if she keeps packing it on. Give me advice on how to do it.

-Packing Up

Dear Packing Up:

So you guys have been together for five years through college, so you are not supposed to be an immature narcissistic idiot, so stop behaving like one. Shame on you. Close your eyes right now. Are they closed? Now image this ... me giving you the finger.

Shame on you.

- Ellie

P.S. Don’t write back, I can only handle one idiot a year. Everyone else can send your letters to murfreesborovoiceaskellie@gmail.com